Category: Southern Thing Columns

Following is an excerpt from this week’s column on AL.com. The link at the bottom takes you to the full column. Lady Doritos! Squeeee! I hope they leave pink dust on my fingers. Kidding, y’all. I don’t need no stinkin’ lady Doritos. I can eat anyone under the table with good ol’ Man Doritos and… Continue reading Maybe Lady Doritos will leave pink dust on our fingers. We can only hope

Following is an excerpt from an AL.com I wrote a year ago. It's snowing today at my house, so I'm re-sharing. The link at the bottom takes you to the full column. When you're a child, not much compares to the news that school will be closing early because snow is falling. Not only falling,… Continue reading How to make southern snow boots from bread sacks and rubber bands: a memoir

Following is an excerpt from this week’s column on AL.com. The link at the bottom takes you to the full column. When a writer feels the need to pen a column with a headline like this, you know it’s time to declare a national state of stupidity because here’s what it means: People have been… Continue reading How to kill a spider without setting anything on fire

Following is an excerpt from this week’s column on AL.com. The link at the bottom takes you to the full column. Sweetums knows I would never publicly ridicule him. I only write about him as a sort of research exercise - you know, to gauge by reader response how normal he is...n't. This column, however,… Continue reading Look, guys, we know ‘collectible action figures’ are really just toys

Following is an excerpt from this week’s humor column on AL.com. The link at the bottom takes you to the full column. Spoiler-alert-to-end-all-spoiler-alerts: If you love the animated special “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” or Christmas in general, DO NOT read further. You will never look at Santa the same way again. So why am I… Continue reading If you look too closely at Rudolph special, it will ruin Christmas forever