Southern Thing Column

Maybe Lady Doritos will leave pink dust on our fingers. We can only hope

Following is an excerpt from this week’s column on The link at the bottom takes you to the full column.

Lady Doritos! Squeeee! I hope they leave pink dust on my fingers.

Kidding, y’all. I don’t need no stinkin’ lady Doritos. I can eat anyone under the table with good ol’ Man Doritos and I have the orange handprints on the pantry door to prove it.

But the Doritos folks have discussed making chips just for the ladies. I’m not sure but I think they will come in a bag dotted with Swarovski crystals and in flavors such as Domestic Goddess Guacamole, Princess Picante and Cheerful Housewife Chipotle.

And Lord help if they make them softer. You know, to keep from mussing our lipstick or nail polish. Soft chips would be as disgusting as moist bread. Shudder.

But I’m sure they will be located in the same grocery store aisle as Lady Schick, Lady Ink Pens, Lady Tool Kits and a pair of gloves made to keep our nails from breaking while pumping gas.

These all exist. They’re all pink. They’re all more expensive because they’re pink. Click here to read the full column on

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