Southern Thing Column

I have my own ways of functioning during all this. Here’s my list

Like all of you, I have been adjusting to living my “new normal,” by which I mean living in the pages of a Stephen King novel. (btw, Steve says sorry we all feel that way but, somehow, it doesn’t make me feel any better.)

There are high points and low points, good days and bad days, and very few situations that require wearing a bra. With each passing day, the things that take priority shift rapidly and, late at night, I get scared – even sleeping beside a 6-foot-7, 300-pound man. We have encountered a foe that could even fell Sweetums and that is pretty terrifying.

As I wrote in this week’s column:

“Sometimes I’m really, really scared, especially at night when I lie in bed scrolling through news stories that all have the words “coronavirus” and “death” in them. Well, every now and then, they are interspersed with the “news” that Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt may be reconciling, or how Liam Hemsworth is coping post-Miley-Cyrus-divorce but mainly they all say “coronavirus” and “death.” And sometimes “economy” and “tanked.”

While I’m grateful I was already working from home and can continue to do so, I feel the stresses of “sheltering in place” (“in place” of what, I don’t know. “Sheltering in place” of traveling to an exotic isle? “Sheltering in place” of sailing or half-pipe snowboarding? I’ve been meaning to ask the Government or the Internet of whatever Omnipotent Entity coined the phrase. In my case, I am mainly “sheltering in place” of washing my hair, bathing and laundering our underbritches, but that’s a topic for another column).

Like most writers, I’ve been expounding on the strange situation for the past month, trying to keep things light. My columns appear on SouthernThing.com but I have shared links below if you are interested in my take on things. Above all, though, and in all seriousness, please practice kindness. As they said in the Bill and Ted movie and as Sweetums quoted in our wedding vows: “Be excellent to each other.” It really, really matters.

READ: Want to relieve stress? Get an adult coloring book filled with flowers …. or Jason Momoa

READ: Need motivation while working from home? Wearing a tiara works every time

READ: Walmart is selling fewer britches than tops. Mama would say it’s time to stay home

READ: I’m ‘sheltering in place’ of bathing and doing laundry. How about you?

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