Blog Post

The Standoff at the O-Kazek Corral

Yesterday, I was unloading the dishwasher at the house I share with Sweetums. I had put everything away except the flatware. I looked at the flatware bin and sighed. What is it about putting the utensils away that makes me hate it? It takes less than a minute.

As I was standing there I thought of all the times, when I was a single mom, that Baby Girl and I fought over emptying the dishwasher. She’s a grown-up married lady now and has to empty her own dishwasher. My lips curved into a smile. I put the rest of the utensils away and went to look up the piece I’d written in my book “Fairly Odd Mother: Musings of a Slightly Off Southern Mom.” Ah, memories. I’ve shared it below. Books available on Amazon.com.

The Standoff at the O-Kazek Corral

The house was quiet.

I was in my bedroom; my Baby Girl in hers. Between us – the kitchen. Who would make the first move?

The tension mounted (cue the eerie whistling theme to “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.”)

I unholstered my phone and dialed my teenage daughter’s cell phone. Twenty-five feet away, from behind the closed bedroom door, she answered.

“Well? I asked

“Well?” she answered.

“Are you going to?”

“I said I would.”

“That was two days ago. I want to know when.”

“I said I would.”

I waited. Still no sign of movement. In the kitchen, only the sound of crickets and passing tumbleweeds could be heard.

I decided to take action: I went to sleep.

In the morning, Baby Girl and I met at 20 paces in the kitchen.

“What’s for breakfast?”

“No breakfast. Nothing to eat if from.”

She shrugged, rolled up a chocolate chip Eggo and went to catch her ride to school.

That night I was ready.

“Mom, I need a new outfit for Friday night.”

I shrugged. “No money.”

“No money?

“No. Money.”

She moved like a professional dish-slinger. I didn’t even see her draw. In fewer than two minutes, the dishwasher was empty.

I smiled and got my purse. We went out for a nice mother-daughter shopping trip.

The standoff at the O-Kazek Corral had ended without bloodshed. This time.

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