Blog Post

Body-part nail art is not okay, y’all

As I’ve written before, being an unofficial Weird News Reporter makes me a magnet for weird people who want to share weird stuff.

Sometimes the weirdness has to do with Bigfoot and other mythical creatures and what they are up to at any given time (Spoiler: Most often, they are hiding, although sometimes they are selling beef jerky). Sometimes it has to do with dumb crooks. Or quirky roadside attractions. And then there are bizarre trends. I get lots of shares of bizarre trends. I’ve written entire columns on eyebrow designs and chest-hair art.

(Sunny Nail Instagram)

Today, though, we’re going to discuss fingernail trends. A friend who enjoys freaking me out recently shared a post about fingernails with little extensions that look like … fingers. Fingernails with fingers, y’all. They’re call Okurrr Nails and their purpose is to make you throw up in your mouth a little. I’m guessing. To enjoy the full creep factor, check out this post.

But I think my faves are the tooth fingernails. You have to admire the creativity required to include little cavities. And it might be fun to have these done and see if I can finally get featured on the People of Walmart page. It’s a longtime goal of mine but, to date, I haven’t been willing to go out in public in fuzzy slippers and booty shorts that say “Juicy.”

(Sunny Nail Instagram)

Nail Sunny, the company that created these trends – I’ll call them “finger” nails and tooth-and-nails –also features Instagram photos of fingernails with little noses and moustaches so the real question is: Why would anyone want body-part art on body parts? What’s next? Fingernails with little tushies? Fingernails with (whisper) dangly bits?

Nope. Uh-uh. If you want to put art on your fingernails, stick to glitter. Or polka dots. Or butterflies. Just keep your body parts under wraps. There’s a reason they’re called privates.

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