This column appears on AL.com. The link below will take you to the full column.
Here’s the thing about southern women: We are prepared for every situation. We have ingredients to make a casserole in the pantry in case of birth, death or sickness. We style our hair based on the current degree of humidity in the air. We keep thank you notes at the ready. And we know how to change a tire because our daddies insisted.
Southern women aren’t damsels in distress – sure, we might abide by the Suzanne Sugarbaker rule “the man should have to kill the bug,” but it’s not because we can’t kill the bug. It’s because we don’t want to. That’s why I think any southern woman could survive a horror movie. A steel magnolia knows to be nice … until it’s time to not be nice. Then, Freddy or Michael or Jason better give their hearts to Jesus because their butts are ours.
Still not convinced? Here’s more:
- When being chased, we know to avoid the shed filled with axes, scythes, handsaws, pitchforks and an array of other farm implements. We weren’t born in a barn but we know how tools are used … and in this scenario, their main use is impaling.
- We quite literally wouldn’t be caught dead wearing high heels in the woods. We’ll have on our well-worn cowboy boots or Timberlands so we can run from Demented Killer without falling and twisting an ankle – plus, we’d save our stilettos from being rurnt in all that dirt.
- Our cars would never refuse to start. Our daddies made sure we know car maintenance so that when we finally reach the safety of the car, there’s no chance the engine won’t turn over. Click here to read the full column on AL.com.