Sweetums and I were talking the other day and one of our made-up words snuck into the conversation. It occurred to me that we are being selfish by keeping these handy words to ourselves when others might benefit from their use. I haven’t trademarked them so feel free to borrow. Don’t thank me. Just trying to help.
Snoozle: noun. A short nap during the daytime; ie. “Why don’t you take a little snoozle? You’ll feel better.”
Sasqui: noun, plural. A grouping of one or more legendary ape-like creatures known singularly as Bigfoot or Sasquatch; ie. “Have you ever been hunting for Sasqui?” (I may trademark this one so use judiciously).
Breasteses: noun. Pronounced breast-eh-sez. Boobs. Used in situations when you don’t want to say hooters or gazoombas; ie. “Did you see the breasteses on that woman?”
Underboob: noun. The area of skin beneath one’s breasteses; typically found only on woman over 40, after the breasteses have sagged like week-old party balloons to rest against their upper torsos; ie. “This bra chafes my underboob.”
Peaches and Herb: noun. A male’s dangly bits; ie. “The peaches and herb on the 30-foot-tall golden statue of David look as if they were shriveled by the sun.” (See photo below)
Combobulated: verb. The opposite of discombobulated (confused or disconcerted) because it needed one; ie. “I’m so glad Uncle Gig finally got combobulated. He was getting on my ever-lovin’ last nerve.”
Sidedog: noun. A dog that never leaves your side, like the sidekicks of superhero lore; ie. “My Trusty Sidedog Lucy loves to ride in the car.”
Step-over dog: noun. A dog past puppyhood who prefers lying on the floor to yapping and chewing shoes; typically medium and large canines; ie. “I wish Rover would stop getting into the trash. We need a step-over dog.”
Weirdologist: noun. Person who is well-versed in weirdness and odd roadside attractions; ie. “Sweetums is a weirdologist.”
Odd-yssey: noun. A trip, typically by car, during which you seek oddities such as the World’s Largest Underwear or haunted cemeteries; ie. “Sweetums and I are heading out on an odd-yssey in hopes of seeing the World’s Largest Baseball Bat.”
BONUS: Glossary of blog names
For the uninitiated, here is a guide to nickname references in my columns and blog posts:
I: Me, of course. The Kelly Kazek of KellyKazek.com and Weird News Reporter for AL.com.
Sweetums: My 6-foot-7 hubby of 7 months. Bigfoot affecionado and weirdologist.
Baby Girl: My daughter who is at Auburn.
Wirt: Sweetums’ son who is in the Navy.
Groover: Sweetums’ 14-year-old, who stays with us every other weekend.
My Trusty Sidedog Lucy: The beagle-mix stray we adopted when Baby Girl was in high school and who is my co-pilot whenever I take her on car rides.