Blog Post

You Coulda Let Me Merge, Asshat & other ‘national designations’ you should know

June is designated, both officially and unofficially, the “National Month” for no fewer than 40 things. I’m guessing you thought it was only for Father’s Day and the first day of spring. Wrong.

Since most are “Awareness Months,” I will make you aware of a few of them:

National Bathroom Reading Month: This is the reason I made you this list. Just print it out and viola! Bathroom reading material. You’re welcome.

Lane Courtesy Month: I like to call this one You Coulda Let Me Merge, Asshat Month. Or the Courtesy Wave Is Not Optional Month. Click here for to read more about Courtesy Wave Rules.

National Accordion Awareness Month: Because very few people under the age of 80 know what one is.

National Aphasia Awareness Month: Also known as, I Had to Look This One Up So I Guess I’m Not Very Aware Month.

Dairy Alternative Month: Does this mean milk from cows who choose to live alternative lifestyles, or soy milk? If so, why not just call it Soy Milk Awareness? Something to ponder.

National Candy Month and National Fresh Fruit and Vegetables Month: Because June is for both, I assume we get to choose which one we celebrate. Guess which one I picked?

Adopt A Shelter Cat Month: Be sure you do this one. Sweetums told me if I bring another one home he’s getting a pet Bigfoot.

Celibacy Awareness Month: I have a feeling celibate people are very aware. And they are not celebrating.

Children’s Awareness Month: Really? Do you know a mom anywhere who is not aware of the little fingers showing beneath the restroom door while she’s trying to celebrate National Bathroom Reading Month? Or that she just walked the gauntlet of Legos to get to the matching soccer sock? Trust me. She’s aware of the children without a reminder.

Potty Training Awareness Month: Who made these up, Homer Simpson? Do you know any parent on the planet who is not aware of potty training??? No, you don’t.

 

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