Southern Thing Column

Dogs have got us right where they want us

This is today’s column. Clicking the link takes you to to read the column in its entirety.

Lately, I’ve noticed lots of research about human interactions with domesticated pets. I’m fairly sure these were initiated by the humans because, really, our pets don’t care. When’s the last time you saw that cocked-head, quizzical look on your dog’s face and wondered if he wished you’d say “I love you” more often? Or, just once, couldn’t you ask how his day was?

No, their needs are much more basic. They only need their humans to know:

  • Yes, I’m hungry.
  • Uh-huh, really hungry.
  • Have I ever not wanted a treat?
  • It wasn’t me.
  • It was probably the gerbil. He’s got beady eyes.
  • What? It’s not like you ever wore that shoe.
  • I need to poop now. Want me to go out, or is the carpet OK?
  • Yep, still hungry.

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