Southern Thing Column

Rules of the Banana Sandwich are simple and finite

The column excerpted below originally appeared on It’s a Southern Thing. To read the column in its entirety on SouthernThing.com, click here.

Banana-and-mayo sandwiches are one of God’s simple pleasures: Cheap, easy to make and filled with that tangy-sweet combination that makes your mouth happy. Do I care that non-Southerners poke fun at this creation of heaven-on-white bread? Do I care that even some Southerners aren’t on board?

No. Because:

  1. Bless their hearts
  2. More for me.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. nearly ruined it for the rest of us back in 2016 when he posted a photo of a ’nanner sammich on Twitter and told the world about its lusciousness. This could have led to a run on banana sandwiches, resulting in a shortage that would leave my tummy very sad. But then something happened. A bunch of wackadoodles uninformed folks tried making and eating banana sandwiches and posted stories and videos all over YouTube. They mostly agreed that ’nanner sandwiches were icky.

After my initial shock, I realized those folks must’ve made the sandwiches wrong. Because there is no universe in which a ’nanner sandwich is “icky.” I think they didn’t follow The Banana Sandwich Rules. Many people, even some Southerners, don’t realize the rules exist but they do. I’m pretty sure someone found them carved into a cave wall in Georgia back in the 1800s.

The Banana Sandwich Rules

  1. The bananas should be yellow, not green and not too ripe. Black-spotted bananas – known scientifically as bana-matians, the Dalmatians of the fruit world – are to be used only for making banana bread and, depending on the number of spots, banana pudding. Click here to read the column in its entirety.

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