Southern Thing Column

Forget putting tongues on flagpoles; this is a Southern kid’s triple-dog dare

If you missed last week’s column on It’s a Southern Thing (, you can read it by clicking here. Below are the first paragraphs.

Y’all, a whole bunch of elementary-school kids in Minnesota got their tongues stuck to flagpoles last week. Apparently, after being triple-dog dared, the young’uns managed to shake their playground monitors in an effort to determine if the famous scene from “A Christmas Story” could really happen. It can and it did – six times.

Another part of the movie that’s true? It’s difficult to scream for help when your tongue is stuck to a flagpole. At least according to a story in The Star-Tribune, which said some of the children at Emmett Williams Elementary School didn’t wait for emergency assistance and just yanked, leaving little pieces of tongue on the poles. The story not only made me leery of ever touching flagpoles in northern states, it also made me think of how different triple-dog dares are here in the South.

If Southern kids want to find out what happens when they stick their tongues to frozen metal, they’d have to head over to the Dairy Queen and sneak into the deep freeze – not that I’m trying to give anyone ideas. Just to be safe, you should read your offspring this PSA: Kids, it is not a good idea to wander into restaurant kitchens for any reason, but especially to lick the equipment. In fact, don’t lick anything in a restaurant, ever. Unless it’s a Dilly Bar … preferably your own.

The main wintertime challenge for children in the South is having to eat all the bread and eggs and milk their moms bought when there was a half-inch of snow in the forecast. It is not as easy as you might think. Click here to read the full column.

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