Southern Thing Column

We’re raising the Southern out of kids and I want to register my displeasure

If you missed last week’s column on It’s a Southern Thing (, you can read it by clicking here.  Below are the first paragraphs.

The universe needs a talking-to and I know just who needs to do it – a coalition of Southern mamas. And we need to do it lickety-split because we are just a skosh away from disaster – we are raising the Southern out of our kids.

I know, I know. Everyone over 40 complains about “these kids today” with their video games and Snap Chat and weird YouTube videos. That’s not what I’m talking about. In fact, I think kids today are plenty smart.

It’s the adults I’m worried about. Did you know adults are making our children un-Southern? It’s true. Take a walk down the toy aisle and you will find some play pretties that your grandmas would deem completely unsuitable … and many of them involve “poo” (unfortunately the kind without an “h” on the end).

Who is responsible for making these toys? Grown up people with (supposedly) more sense than God gave a Betsy bug.

It’s gotten out of hand. Sure, my big brother Doofus and I had a Creepy Crawler bug-making machine and called each other names that made our mother cringe but we were still raised to say “yes, ma’am” and “sir,” write thank-you notes, and we knew better than to discuss (whisper) toilet bidness and impolite topics in public.

The next generation of children will be entirely comfortable doing things our mamas taught us we ought not do. Click here to read the full column on It’s a Southern Thing.

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