Out there in Readerland, lots and lots of you are generous enough to share notices of all kinds about Bigfoot merchandise we might need for Sweetums’ collection. Y’all know I appreciate it, right? BUT. I have told Sweetums the front garden is officially full and no more Sasqui or Loch Ness Monsters or gnomes or Easter Island heads are allowed.
However, I’ve come across something I’d really, really love to get him for Christmas. But it’s not cheap. I figure those of you who share such things with us are doing so because you are willing to buy them for us, amiright? Well, this Christmas, I want to give Sweetums his very own rare, oversized amusement park statue … sorta the Red Ryder BB Gun of weirdos. (We’ll keep it in the garage til we move to the country. The neighbors in the subdivision are so picky.)
I happen to know where you can get deals on lots of oversized statues, from a T-Rex to a caveman, both of which is perfect for Sweetums. (There’s also a castle, which I am putting on my Christmas list.)
As you can see if you go to this link, the statues are priced from about $600 to $20,000. (The only statue we would refuse is, of course, an elephant. They are not allowed near my home. There is, however, an amazingly cool Esso tiger for sale.)
I figure if each of you who want to buy Bigfoot items for Sweetums would donate, we could make his dream come true. For the caveman, we’d only need 18,000 people to give a dollar, or one person to give $18,000. I’m good with either plan.
Y’all shoot me an email if you plan to donate. I need to start looking for an oversized box.