Following is an excerpt from this week’s column on AL.com. The link at the bottom takes you to the full column.
Research backs up what we already knew, y’all: Too much Christmas music can make you want to pinch someone’s head off and drop kick it into next week.
If that sounds too violent, consider this: the barrage of annual holiday music is just like the method used to torture prisoners. Turn it up loud and play it over and over and over … until something snaps and someone has a come-apart. One day, I expect to hear a shopper yelling and crying in the general direction of Target’s speakers: “I can’t take it anymore. Just turn it off and I promise that for the rest of my life I will return my cart to the little corral thingy! I swear it. Just puh-leeze don’t play that Mariah Carey song again!!” Yeah, that shopper is gonna be me.
Don’t get me wrong. I adore Christmas music. I’m just pointing out there’s a reason it’s called “Christmas” music. It’s supposed to be played, like, at Christmastime. Not at Halloween, not at Thanksgiving, but at Christmas.
When retailers and radio stations start playing carols two months out, we begin wishing we’d been in front of that hit-and-run reindeer instead of Grandma. Click here to go to AL.com to read the full column.