Blog Post

Men don’t understand what it takes to be gorgeous

I know it’s popular right now for women to run around without makeup and with natural hair to show how empowered we are. But the fact is, I feel much more empowered if I don’t look like I just rolled out of bed (unless I’m going to Walmart, where I blend in better if I do).

Sweetums, whose prematurely gray and naturally curly hair has always been buzzed to within an eighth of an inch from his scalp, is completely clueless when it comes to my beauty regime. We’ve been together more than four years now and still, every single time I wash my hair in the evening, like last night, and tell him I have to go dry it and style it, he acts confused. “Why? It’s bedtime,” he asks. Every. Single. Time.

And every single time, I explain to him: I can’t just go to sleep on my below-shoulder-length hair, either damp or recently air-dried, because it will “wrinkle” into a style I don’t want overnight. Sweetums doesn’t seem to understand: hair has a memory. Kind of like if you don’t fold or hang a cotton shirt when it comes out of the dryer. If you leave it wadded up, it will be impossible to deal with. Just like my hair.

So, even if it is near bedtime, I blow dry my hair, then straighten or curl, at least a little. I don’t go all out like I’m headed for the red carpet or anything. Just enough so it will remember the next morning what it’s supposed to do.

I have no idea why this is hard to understand but it probably has something to do with the fact that by the time he walks from the shower to the bedroom, his hair is bone dry.

But since he keeps asking, I’m writing it down so I can just print copies of this post and hand it to him. I just hope he’s not the one in charge of doing my hair in my casket someday. Lord only knows how that could turn out. Y’all be sure I don’t look like I have sex-hair in my coffin, kay? Thanks, sistah-girls.

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