I have decided horror movie directors are missing an entire regional audience by not catering to Southerners. Moviemakers don’t really focus on topics that would terrify us (with the exception of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” because what Southerner wouldn’t be wary of chainsaws being swung about willy-nilly?)
Not only are Southerners too savvy and prepared to fall for old horror movie tropes, we need some new monsters beyond vampires and zombies and inbred rednecks. Just sayin’.
Sweetums and I are sure there is a market for other Southern-themed movies, such as one featuring a kudzu monster. I mean, haven’t we all had the nightmare in which we are grabbed around the ankle by vine-y tentacles that pull us into the leafy abyss, never to be seen again – oh, that was just me?
Any-hoo, we’d call it “Night of the Living Kudzu,” “The Cabin in the Kudzu” or “KUD-zoo.” I shudder just thinking about it. (Don’t steal our idea, y’all. We just need backers. And equipment. And, you know, basic knowledge of the film industry).
Some other ideas filmmakers should consider to terrify the Southern audience: Click ere to read the entire column.